Flirty Japanese
stages of love
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Stages of love in Japanese

Love is a complex topic and can be both full of joy or full of despair. In this article I will tell you how the various stages of love are called in Japanese, including some useful words and phrases for each stage.

First love

The first love is always special and exciting. In Japan you’d say:

初恋 – hatsukoi

Of course then you will experience the first date:

初デート – hatsudeeto

And if it goes well it might lead to the long awaited first kiss:

ファーストキス – fasuto kisu

初デート – hatsuchuu

If you want to ask him or her out, you can read here how to do it:
How to ask a Japanese girl out
I know it says „girl“ in title but it works the other way round, too.
If he or she accepted your confession, you will become a couple:

カップル – kappuru

恋人 – koibito

And you can then proudly state: „She’s my girlfriend.“

(俺・僕の)彼女だ。 – (ore/boku no) kanojo da.

or…“He’s my boyfriend.“

(私の)彼氏だ。 – (watashi no) kareshi da.

But if he or she decides to refuse your confession – which I hope not – your love will turn into…

Unrequited love

失恋 – shitsuren

Love at first sight

Have you ever experienced love at first sight? Some say that’s complete nonsense but for the romantic people among us, „Love at first sight“ is called:

一目惚れ – hitomebore

Long-distance relationship

Evewr since the internet has been popular, chances are that you end up in a long-distance relationship like myself. In Japanese this is called:

遠距離恋愛 – enkyouri ren’ai

When your partner is so far away and you miss him or her you can say:

(name)が恋しい。 – (name) ga koishii.

(name)がいなくて寂しい。 – (name) ga inakute sabishii.

Both mean the same but literally the second sentence means: „If you are not there I’m lonely.“


If everything is progressing as imagined it will eventually come to the question many girls and women want to hear: „Will you marry me?“ The most common way to ask this in Japanese would be:

(僕と)結婚してください。 – (boku to) kekkon shite kudasai.

„僕と“ is only used by men. As a woman you’d want to use „私と“.
If the answer was „Yes“ you will become fiancés:

婚約者 – kon’yakusha

If the answer was „No“ you might become ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend:

元カノ – motokano

元カレ – motokare

After the wedding ceremony you will be a married couple:

夫婦 – fuufu

or you can tell others: „I’m married.“

結婚しています。 – kekkon shite imasu.


If you want to get a divorce, you could say:

離婚したがっている。 – rikon shitagatte iru.

Divorces are quite normal this days yet still a sad thing. There reasons are versatile, for example an affair:

不倫 – furin

浮気 – uwaki

„浮気“ is a more general word whereas „不倫“ is only used when one or both are married.
The person you have an affair with would be called:

不倫相手 – furin aite

If you can think of other stages of love, please let me know.

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